Life Support + Answering the Calling
It was a Monday morning. I had driven down to my mom’s house the night before with my kids so she could watch them while I spent the day writing for a client. I just happened to be close for what came next.
A frantic call from my sister. My father couldn’t breathe. He was gasping for air as he was carried out on a stretcher screaming to the medics and my sister to not let him die.
We rushed to the Emergency Room. As we walked back to where he was I knew immediately I had to get the girls out of there. My mother took the kids out as I was debriefed by the doctor and told we needed to intubate him with a mechanical ventilator because he could not breathe on his own. His blood pressure was also dangerously low and we needed to put him on full life support systems.
In the moment I was calm, I knew how to answer the questions and I immediately got in touch with his doctor on the east coast.
But when I looked into my father’s eyes I could see him slipping, descending into an unknown space, the cusp of life and death.
As they intubated him I knew we had made the right decision but it was painful to watch.
I witnessed a dedicated nurse try everything in his power to save my father that day and night. He told me at one point he was bringing in the “big guns” and if this didn’t work in the next hour, he wouldn’t make it. I watched as he hooked even more tubes and wires into his body to support him when he couldn’t support himself.
He somehow made it through the night.
They told us he wouldn’t make it through the next day most likely. But he did. Barely.
For the next 7 weeks we managed daily crises and sudden, unexpected life and death scenarios. We attempted to keep our families and our homes going with some sort of semblance of routine and normalcy. We got used to receiving calls in the middle of the night from nurses and doctors. We said goodbye to him on 3 different occasions. We prayed, we gathered, we took turns watching four kids under the age of 4 and we always had one of us present by my father’s bedside through it all. Prayers were open and received and the sacred space for healing took place.
Miracles happen every day.
And one day, my Dad opened his eyes and recognized me.
It was a long journey and one we continue to be on together to this day three years later.
I share this story with you because in the midst of this family emergency and driving 3 hours every day to be the voice for my father when he could not speak for himself, I had started a coach training program.
The month before my Dad’s hospitalization I made the decision to answer the calling I had felt to go into coaching. I was growing as a consultant and Online Business Manager supporting coaches but the seed of a dream planted 10 years earlier had taken root and never left. I desired more in my life and my work and I knew I had more to give.
I felt called to become the coach I had desired for myself in my own journey. I felt called to answer this dream I had pushed down and tried to forget through the years. I felt called to give myself an opportunity to expand, to learn, to push my edges.
And within weeks of signing up and saying yes to my calling, all of *this* happened.
It would have been easy to say not now.
It would have been easy to say this is not the right time.
It would have been easy to say I don’t have the money or the energy to devote to this.
It would have been easy to say next year.
It would have been easy to say when my kids are older.
It would have been easy to say I don’t have what it takes at this point in time.
If ever there was an excuse, this was one.
But I didn’t use an excuse. I didn’t put it off. I didn’t give up on my dream, even when the going got tough. And it got very tough because there is more to this story and journey than I can share at the moment.
But hear me out on this…
When you feel a calling and ignore it, you only silence it for a little bit. Your stories and excuses only go so far. Your calling will continue to speak to you, to ask you to nourish it and to take courageous, bold steps to follow it… even in the midst of trauma or “bad timing”.
Because the truth is, there is no perfect time to answer your calling. There is only the present. The resources and support will appear once you commit.
So as I showed up every day at the hospital for my dad and every night at home for my family, I also showed up in my training program for myself.
I listened to the training calls during my drive, completed my homework in the ICU and read the required books at night that expanded my understanding and allowed me to deepen into the abundant and miracle mindset that I had been learning through this experience (and others) during this time.
I began to embody the woman, the coach, the leader I desired to be in the present moment. This shifted things internally and externally.
Once I committed to my calling I realized it was necessary to also ask for support. And the universe is here to support you. There is an abundance of support surrounding us at all times. We have to learn to ask for support and we have to learn to be open to receive the support that shows up during our transition towards our greater vision.
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A woman in transition knows her creativity is pulling her forward. She knows she desires to receive the abundance of the Universe. She knows she could be doing things differently in order to receive the abundance, focus and clarity necessary to birth her greater vision.
She knows she is meant to shine her light bright in this world, she knows she holds a powerful purpose but she does not yet know exactly how to shine that light or what exactly that work or service looks like. But she senses it. She feels it deep in her bones. Do you feel it?
The woman in transition knows the time is now to take inspired action, to trust her intuition, to live the life she is meant to live. Do you feel it?
The woman in transition is ready to find clarity by tuning out and tuning in, to listen to that knowing, trusting voice that dwells deep within her soul and to have the courage to step into the unknown.
What is calling to you in this moment?
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